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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28517610">strictly platonic</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/meltyourrheadaches/pseuds/meltyourrheadaches'>meltyourrheadaches</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Everyone Is Alive, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, No Lesbians Die</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:01:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,675</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28517610</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/meltyourrheadaches/pseuds/meltyourrheadaches</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jamie knows that Dani will never feel the same way about her, that they are, and will always be strictly platonic. She's just doing her a favor, to help her get her nagging mother and forlorn ex fiancé off her back.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dani Clayton &amp; Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie, Hannah Grose/Owen Sharma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>98</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. all an act</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm a sucker for fake relationship stories so I had to make my own.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The thing about Dani Clayton is that she's too polite to say no to anybody. She didn't say no when she was asked on a date by her best friend, no matter how little she actually felt toward him in that regard. She didn't say no when he asked her to be his girlfriend, even though the thought made her stomach churn. She didn't say no when he asked her to be his wife, no matter how much the thought alone made her want to vomit.</p><p>It took a lot out of her to do something for herself, but she did it when she broke things off with him. It took everything she had to get the words to come out, and the aftermath was messy. Her mother and Eddie's family bombarded her with questions as to why she would do that to him. She eventually got so tired of it and Eddie's constant begging for forgiveness for whatever he thinks he had done, that she had to completely relocate.</p><p>She loved her new job, no matter how much her friends or family disapproved of it. They couldn't seem to accept the fact that for the first time in years, she was truly happy. Often on her phone calls with her mother, she would beg Dani to come back, and take Eddie back. It had been a year, but it seemed that he was still hung up on the au pair. That thought made Dani's skin crawl.</p><p>***</p><p>The day goes by like any other, the children behaved well, nothing seems out of the ordinary. After the children have been put to bed, the adults at the manor sat around the table as they often did, chatting about the days events. They are interrupted by the phone. Owen gets up to answer. "Hello? Yes, she's right here. Dani, it's for you. It's your mum."</p><p>Dani walks over to him and thanks him, and takes the call. "Hi, mom," she says.</p><p>"Danielle, I've missed you," says Karen Clayton, the au pairs mother.</p><p>Dani prepares herself for the spiel of "When are you coming home?" that she knows all too well. "I know, I miss you too. How are you?"</p><p>"I'm actually very good, I have good news," Karen says.</p><p>"Oh, that's great, what is it?"</p><p>"I've decided that if I can't get you to come home, then we'll just have to go to you." Dani can hear her mother's sneer in her voice.</p><p>"Oh, uh, I don't know if-" Dani is cut off.</p><p>"Edmund and I are looking forward to seeing you. Danielle, you should really consider getting back with him. I know he'd take you back in a heartbeat if you just apologized. I know you didn't really mean when you said all that to him."</p><p>
  <em>Oh, there it is. </em>
</p><p>Dani is furious at the thought of her mother just <em>inviting </em>herself to England, not to mention the fact that she's bringing her <em>ex-fiancé along with her? </em>Dani wants to shout at her, wants to tell her the countless reasons why that is an absolutely terrible idea, but the thing about Dani Clayton is that she's too polite to say no to anybody. Especially her overly demanding, snide mother.</p><p>"Ok..."</p><p>There's so much more that Dani wants to say, but she can't bring herself to. She inhales a shuddery breath and gets ready for the rest of the onslaught. </p><p>"We'll be arriving in one week, we've already booked the tickets in everything," Karen says.</p><p>"Mom, I don't know if it's a good idea for you to just... invite yourself up here, I mean, I know I live here, but it's also my <em>job,</em>" Dani tries to reason.</p><p>"Oh, nonsense, Danielle. It'll be fine. I've been wanting to meet everybody anyway. I'm sure they'll find it in their hearts to accept your poor mother for a few weeks," she chuckles.</p><p>Dani's heart stops. "I'm sorry, did you say <em>weeks</em>?"</p><p>"Well, of course, I'm not going to fly all the way to England to just stay a few days. I want to make the most out of my time with my daughter."</p><p>And with that, they exchange a few pleasantries, Dani in too much of a daze to register what she is saying. She returns to the dining table in a near catatonic state. The others, occupied with their own conversation, did not hear what had happened in the phone call, and appeared confused at the state of Dani. "Are you all right, dear?" Hannah asks.</p><p>Dani smiles weakly. "Yeah, I'm great."</p><p>"What happened?" Hannah presses, not believing her.</p><p>Dani takes a deep breath. "Well, my mother decided to invite her <em>and </em>my ex fiancé to the manor for several weeks without asking beforehand. Oh, and to make it <em>even better</em>, they already bought the tickets and are gonna be here in a <em>week, </em>so yeah, I'm <em>great</em>."</p><p>"Oh dear, I'm so sorry. I can't believe she would do that without asking you," Hannah says.</p><p>"Well, then you don't know my mother. This is <em>exactly </em>the type of stunt she would pull."</p><p>"Ah, I see. It seems rather rude for her to have your ex fiancé tag along, if you don't mind me saying."</p><p>"Oh, no, you're absolutely right. She doesn't believe my reason for ending it with him, so she wants me to take him back. She thinks that me not being in a relationship is enough evidence that I'm still in love with him," Dani sighs, and drops her head into her hands.</p><p>Hannah places a sympathetic hand on Dani's shoulder. "I know the situation isn't ideal, but we'll try to make the most of it. I can tell that your mother puts a lot of stress on you, every time she calls I can see you tense up. You know, I could watch the kids while she's here, I'm sure you could use the break while you have to handle her," Hannah offers.</p><p>"Oh, no, Hannah, I couldn't possibly let you do that, besides, they'd be a good excuse to get me out of spending much time with her," Dani chuckles softly.</p><p>"Very well, but if there is <em>anything </em>I can do to make this easier for you, you let me know."</p><p>"I will."</p><p>Dani looks back to the other two at the table, and they nod in agreement. They sit in silence for a few moments, before Owen finally speaks. "If you don't mind my prying, why does she not accept the fact that you don't love your ex fiancé?"</p><p>Dani smiles weakly. "Well, when your daughter has been in a relationship with a man for several years, I'm sure it would be surprising to hear she's actually a lesbian."</p><p>The three at the table look surprised at this sudden revelation. "Sorry, that's too much information-" Dani starts.</p><p>"Oh, no, it's okay. It's just so terrible that your own mother would be so unaccepting. I haven't even met the woman and I already don't like her," Owen says, trying to lighten the mood.</p><p>Dani laughs and nods in agreement. She looks over to Jamie who seems to be deep in thought. "You okay, Jamie?" she asks.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm just thinking about something," Jamie says.</p><p>"Ah, I thought I smelled something burning," Owen says.</p><p>Jamie looks at him with a glare and lightly taps him on the shoulder. Owen feigns being in pain and begins laughing at his own joke. "No, really. Poppins, you said earlier that she wouldn't believe you because you're single, right?" Jamie asks.</p><p>Dani nods in confirmation. "So, what if there was no doubt in her mind that you weren't into men?"</p><p>"How would I accomplish that?"</p><p>"Say you have a girlfriend, make up someone, she can't possibly shove your ex on you if she knows you're seeing someone. And if she does, I can always pretend," says Jamie. </p><p>Her offer catches Dani off guard. "Oh, trust me, it sounds exactly like the type of thing she'd do. I can't ask you to pretend to be with me though. Look, I appreciate all of your offers of help, I really do, but I need to figure this out on my own. I'm gonna head to bed and think it over. Again, thank you guys," she says as she gets up and leaves.</p><p>***</p><p>"Jamie, what on Earth were you thinking, are you mad?" Hannah says after Dani is out of earshot.</p><p>Jamie tilts her head. "What are you talking about?"</p><p>"You can't just offer to be her <em>pretend girlfriend</em>, not with the way you're head over heels for her."</p><p>"The way I'm- <em>what?" </em>Jamie sputters.</p><p>"Jamie, you've been absolutely mad for that woman ever since she first arrived."</p><p>Jamie inhales a shaky breath. "I don't know why I said it, it just slipped out. But it's all right, yeah? She said no, anyway..." she trails off. </p><p>Owen chimes in, "You don't mean you hoped she would've said <em>yes?"</em> </p><p>"Look, I don't know what I wanted. But it's over now, it doesn't matter. Nothing would've happened anyway, not with mummy dearest around." </p><p>"Still, Jamie, if you're that in love with her, you should probably just ask her out," Owen smirks.</p><p>Jamie's face turns a bright shade of red. "In love- I am <em>not</em> in love with her, Owen."</p><p>"Then why are you being so defensive?"</p><p>"Shut up," Jamie says, not an ounce of playfulness in her stern expression. </p><p>Owen and Hannah look at her in a way that says <em>we know you're lying</em>. Jamie stares daggers at both of them. "Stop that," she spits.</p><p>Hannah feigns ignorance. "Stop what?"</p><p>"You know exactly what."</p><p>"Honestly, Jamie, what's the issue? You're in love with her, so what? Why are you so angry about it?" Owen asks.</p><p>Jamie's face softens. "I just know nothing will ever come of it, so there's no need to go around advertising it."</p><p>Jamie knows that she would never be so lucky. To be able to wake up every morning and see Dani lying next to her. To go through the day by her side. It was impossible, a mere fever dream. She had told herself this many times in the year she had known Dani Clayton. Even with the revelation of her sexuality, Jamie figured that no woman would want to be with an ex-convict. She gets up, "Right, I need some air. I'll see ya later."</p><p>With that, she gets up and heads towards the front door. She sits on the steps out front and begins thinking. She worries she crossed a line with Dani, that somehow, she would figure out Jamie's true feelings towards her. After all, Owen and Hannah had seemingly known all along. She scolds herself internally, for being so obvious with her attraction. She knows it's only a matter of time before Dani catches on and then cuts her off entirely. She knows how this goes, she knows it all too well. Jamie is so wrapped up in her own head that she doesn't sense the presence sitting on her right. "Jamie," the woman says.</p><p>If Jamie had been standing, she would have fallen over. She jumps about five feet to the left and clutches her chest. "Jesus, you nearly gave me a heart attack."</p><p>***</p><p>The au pair has gotten completely settled in for bed, yet she cannot bring herself to sleep. She lies under a thin sheet in a cold sweat, dreading the arrival of her mother. She thinks back to the conversation in the kitchen. <em>Jamie was right,</em> she thinks. The only way she could get her mother to stop shoving Eddie down her throat (the prospect of which nearly making Dani sick) is to tell her mother she's in a relationship. </p><p>But she also knows that it won't stop Karen Clayton. No, Dani needs to show her mother that she has moved on. That she has found someone else, someone better. Jamie's offer flashes back in her mind. She doesn't want to ask so much of Jamie, but yet, she can't think of a better alternative. Her mother won't believe her unless there is actually the presence of another person, and even then it'd be a stretch, but she has to try. She can't bear several weeks of Karen Clayton trying to force the unwanted relationship on her. She hopes that at least Eddie will not force it, that he can show a shred of decency. </p><p>She resigns herself to the fact that she would have to ask her best friend to be her girlfriend. <em>No, it's not real, </em>she thinks. If she were really being honest with herself, her relationship with the gardener ran deeper than a mere friendship, but she shoved that thought out of her mind in order to prepare herself for what she would have to do. She gets out of bed and hopes that Jamie has not left yet. She walks into the kitchen where she last saw her and finds Owen and Hannah still deep in conversation. "Hey, did Jamie leave yet?" she asks them.</p><p>Owen and Hannah look up with smug smiles. <em>Weird, </em>Dani thinks. "She's just out front," Owen tells her.</p><p>Dani makes her way out front and finds Jamie sitting on the steps outside. Dani goes up to her and takes a seat beside her. "Jamie," she begins. </p><p>Jamie's eyes grow wide and she jumps backwards, clearly not expecting the surprise visitor. "Jesus, you nearly gave me a heart attack," she gasps.</p><p>"Oh, sorry, I thought you saw me. I couldn't sleep," Dani says.</p><p>As Jamie regains her composure she begins to look concerned. "Don't worry about it. Are you all right, Poppins?"</p><p>"Yeah, I was just thinking about what you said in the kitchen," she says.</p><p>Jamie's eyes widen and a look of horror creeps over her face. "I'm sorry, really. It just slipped out."</p><p>"Do you think you could? Pretend to be with me, I mean. I know I'm asking a lot of you, Jamie, but I really don't know how else I can convince my mother, and if I don't she's gonna try to get me-"</p><p>"S'okay, Poppins. I'll do it."</p><p>"Thank you so much, I owe you big time," Dani says.</p><p>"No you don't, it's fine. I'd do anything to help you."</p><p>Dani pulls Jamie in for a hug. Words cannot describe the gratitude she feels in that moment. They pull away after a while, perhaps too much time to hug a friend, but in that moment, Dani does not care. "Thank you, really, thank you," she says as she leaves. She feels a hand grab her arm, holding her back. </p><p>Jamie has a glint of <em>something</em> in her eyes that Dani cannot quite place. <em>"Dani."</em></p><p>Dani looks at her quizzically. Jamie seems to regain composure, clears her throat, and says, "We'll have to figure out how to make it believable, y'know, so your mum doesn't suspect anything."</p><p>Dani nods. "We can do it tomorrow. Are you able to stay late?" she asks.</p><p>"Yeah, I can." Jamie drops her arm as if suddenly remembering she's holding on to it. "I'll see you then."</p><p>Dani goes back inside and goes back through the kitchen, where Hannah and Owen are now looking up at her. "Where'd you run off to?" Owen asks.</p><p>"Oh, I just needed to talk to Jamie. Actually, I'm gonna need to talk to you guys, too," Dani says. The others look at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue. "So, while my mother is here, Jamie and I are going to pretend to be a couple. I need you guys to play along."</p><p>Hannah glances at Owen and smiles slightly. "Okay, we'll pretend. But I just have one question," she finally says.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"What are you going to do when you <em>actually </em>develop feelings for her?"</p><p>Dani knows that her feelings are far past the 'development' stage, but neither Hannah nor Owen needs to be privy to that information. "I'm not worried about that, she's my best friend. That's all we'll ever be." <em>That's all Jamie wants to be.</em> Dani does not say that out loud, but it is true. In their year of friendship, Dani has never gotten the impression that Jamie sees her as more than that. </p><p>No matter how many nights Dani lays awake and wishes for more, Dani knows it is simply not feasible. Dani was too flawed for someone as perfect as Jamie to want her. That word is really the only one Dani can come up with to describe her: <em>perfect.</em> Dani doubted that Jamie even liked women, so there was really no use in entertaining the thought of a relationship with her. It is not realistic. With that in mind, she heads to bed, thinking about what will come from the next weeks. </p><p>***</p><p>Jamie sits on the front steps of the manor a while longer, now deeper in thought than she had been previously. She cannot believe that Dani even suggested that they pretend to be a couple. Jamie was going to be in for a rough time when her mother arrives. <em>She sees me as strictly platonic, </em>she thinks. <em>There's no way she feels the same</em>.</p><p>Jamie knew this. She knew that she was only a friend to Dani, nothing more. She could wish it all she wanted, but nothing would change the fact that Dani didn't see her the same way. The way she so desperately wanted Dani to see her in. Jamie was no stranger to unrequited love, in fact, she experienced it at this very job, with the previous au pair. They had been merely acquainted, it was only a small crush, but decidedly unrequited. It was easy to let her go when she ran off to America with that scum of the earth Peter Quint. She got over it quickly.</p><p>But with Dani it was different.</p><p>From the first day she saw Dani sitting at the kitchen table, she felt a connection to the woman. She felt a closeness with her that she has never felt with another person. It was like she wanted to be around Dani all the time, she wanted to hold on to her and never let go. As time went on, these feelings grew stronger, more pronounced, and she tried desperately to ignore them in hopes that they would go away, but they never did. Dani was becoming a central part of her life, and that scared the shit out of her. She knew she wanted more out their relationship. </p><p>And as she sits on the front steps of Bly, she knows that when the time comes to pretend with Dani, she won't really be pretending. No, she will simply be allowing herself to act on all of her desires to be close to Dani. To embrace her, to hold her. But it won't last. As soon as her mother is gone, so is their relationship. She cannot get too attached.</p><p>The next day at the manor goes by slowly for Jamie. She tends the gardens as she always does, but she cannot focus on one task for too long. Her mind keeps going back to Dani. She is planning on staying late that day so they can go over plans on how to convince Karen Clayton that they are truly and madly in love. Jamie expects that she won't need to try very hard to act the part. </p><p>After Dani has put the kids to bed, it it just Dani, Jamie, Hannah, and Owen sitting around the table, exactly as they had been doing the previous night. Dani fills in Hannah and Owen about their goal of figuring out how to be convincing. Hannah and Owen are not able to offer much advice, how could they? <em>This situation is entirely and utterly ridiculous</em>, Jamie thinks. <em>What kind of person just offers </em><em>to fake date their best friend that they happen to also be in love with?</em></p><p>They decide they need to come up with a story of how they got together. After all, it would be a rather short lived lie if they had entirely different stories of how they became a couple. "How 'bout... we could say we got together a month after you arrived?" </p><p>"Yeah, that seems believable. That's plenty of time to form a bond and develop feelings and stuff," Dani says.</p><p><em>Yeah, that's about when I started having feelings,</em> Jamie thinks. </p><p>"We can say that I asked you out, and you accepted and that... we've been inseparable ever since."</p><p>Jamie feels something kick her under the table. She can tell it was Owen by the way he's trying his best not to fall apart laughing. She glares at him and kicks him back. She thinks her payback is what makes him say his next words, but she cannot be quite so sure. Either way, he's lucky she didn't murder him right on the spot. "You know, you guys have been together eleven months. Now, if I were Karen Clayton, I would expect my daughter to be living with her girlfriend if I were to believe they were actually a couple. After all, eleven months is an awful long time, and you need to prove that you're both in <em>love," </em>Owen says as he waggles his eyebrows at Dani and Jamie. </p><p>Dani and Jamie look at each other with wide eyes. Jamie, because she cannot believe the audacity of the man sitting across from her. Dani, because that was something she had failed to consider. "Oh my god, Jamie, I think he's right. You don't have to, but... I have to admit, it <em>would </em>make it more convincing. Only if you're okay with it, though," Dani finally says. </p><p>"Yeah, like I said, anything to help."</p><p>"Thank you, Jamie. Really."</p><p>"Hey, Poppins, it's no problem, really."</p><p>They plan the rest of their relationship timeline out with Hannah and Owen so they will all be on the same page. According to their story, they said their first I love you's three months in. Six months in, Jamie permanently moved in to Dani's room in the manor. Five months later, and they're still going strong. Well, not really. It's all fake, after all. Jamie keeps having to remind herself of that fact. That they must remain strictly platonic.</p><p>This is going to be a long few weeks.</p><p>Their conversation slowly drifted to other topics, as they had worked out everything they needed to between the four of them. The rest was up to Dani and Jamie, and those two alone. Eventually, lively laughter grew into droopy eyes and it was time to turn in for the night. Owen said his goodbyes and Hannah said her goodnights, and it was just Dani and Jamie sitting side by side. </p><p>"Hey, uh, I didn't really want to ask about this in front of Hannah and Owen, but I think it's an important thing to acknowledge," Dani starts. "Usually when you're a couple, you show affection- we don't have to, of course, but it would make it more believable. But I won't do <em>anything</em> you aren't comfortable with, Jamie."</p><p>Jamie had been worried about this conversation. She knew it had been inevitable, that they would have to address this sooner or later. "I'm fine with anything as long as you're fine with it," she says.</p><p>"Are you sure? You really don't have to, I-"</p><p>"Yes, I'm sure. It's fine, you can take the lead in that regard. If anything gets to be too much I'll let you know, I promise."</p><p>Jamie found it touching the way Dani is being so considerate of not overstepping boundaries with her. She only wishes that it didn't have to be this way, that they could actually-</p><p><em>Get it together</em>, she thinks.</p><p>"Right, I'm getting a bit tired. I'm gonna head out," Jamie says.</p><p>"Goodnight."</p><p>"G'night."</p><p>Jamie would be lucky to survive to the end of this ordeal. She had to push her feelings for Dani to the back burner for now. Acting on them would only cause problems.</p><p>***</p><p>As Dani settled in for bed the second time that night, she thought about how she would soon be sharing her bed with Jamie. The person who, over the past year, Dani had fallen pretty in love with. <em>Now's not the time to dwell on your feelings, </em>she thinks. After all, there was no possible way Jamie would feel the same way about her. It was impossible. The notion that Jamie was anything but straight was laughable, so Dani had to try her best to not worry about it too much. That was easier said than done, but she had to try all the same. </p><p>She knew that between her mother, Eddie, and the fake relationship with Jamie, she would be in for an excruciating few weeks.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. playing pretend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In this one Karen and Edmund arrive, and surprise surprise, Karen is being a home of phobe.<br/>This really upsets Jamie, and at the end of the chapter we get some of Dani comforting Jamie.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jamie thought back to the previous week and wonders how she got here. There she was, minding her own business, and she suggests to be in a pretend relationship with her best friend/unrequited love to help ward off her mother and ex fiancé. This situation was the pinnacle  of <em>not thinking. </em>Jamie was not thinking whatsoever. She didn't think about the fact that she would have to practically <em>live with Dani</em> <em>for multiple weeks. </em>She didn't think about the fact that she would have to <em>show affection to her. </em>While this wasn't the worst scenario in an ideal world, it was absolutely horrible considering the fact that it wasn't real, and anything Jamie <em>did</em> feel towards the au pair was not returned. There was no doubt about that.</p><p>Now here she was in the living room, nine o'clock on a Friday night, waiting for Dani's unwanted guests to arrive sometime within the next hour. She would normally have left by now, but instead she had a bag filled with several weeks' worth of clothes in the upstairs bedroom- <em>Dani's bedroom</em>. She could tell that over the last week Dani had become more and more anxious, and right now she was practically a ball of nervous energy. Jamie looks over at her and sees that she is chewing on her thumb. She had seen her do this before and recognizes it as one of her nervous habits. </p><p>"Poppins, you're gonna hurt yourself," Jamie says as she takes hold of Dani's wrist and eases her hand away from her teeth. </p><p>"Sorry, I just..." she trails off.</p><p>"I know, but it'll be fine. I'll be with you."</p><p>Dani takes a shaky breath. "I know. That's part of it. What if they take this whole lesbian thing poorly?"</p><p>Jamie feels for her, she had been in this situation herself many times. She says, "I know it's scary, but you can't think the worst. Thing is, there's no telling how they'll react until it actually happens."</p><p>"Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me, you doing this," Dani says, her voice cracking.</p><p>"Hey, Poppins, it'll be okay. And it's really no problem," Jamie rubs a light hand on her back, comforting her. </p><p>Dani smiles at her with watery eyes. Jamie pulls her hand back and tries to think of a way to break the now awkward silence between them. "They shouldn't be here for another hour, can I make you some tea?" Jamie asks.</p><p>"Yeah, tea sounds good."</p><p>They get up and head to the kitchen, Jamie glancing at her every so often to make sure she is okay. Dani sits at the island as Jamie begins brewing the tea. Jamie feels eyes burning into hers and she glances up and meets Dani's eyes. Jamie smiles softly at Dani and Dani quickly looks away. "You alright?" Jamie asks.</p><p>"Oh, uh, yeah," Dani stammers, face becoming red.</p><p>"Are the gremlins gonna behave themselves while your guests are here?" Jamie asks, hoping that Dani had sorted out the children. Telling them about their fake relationship hadn't even crossed Jamie's mind until now.</p><p>"Yeah, I talked to them about... y'know," Dani says. "They agreed to play along. They were excited, for some reason."</p><p>As if on cue, Miles and Flora run into the kitchen. <em>Speak of the devil,</em> Jamie thinks. "Miss Clayton! Is your mum here yet?" Flora asks.</p><p>Dani's eyebrows crease, suddenly remembering what they have been restlessly waiting for the past few hours. "She should be here any minute," she says.</p><p>Jamie hands Dani a cup of tea. Dani thanks her, and turns back to Flora. "You remembered what we talked about earlier, right? About me and Jamie?"</p><p>"Yes, you and Jamie are in love, and it's <em>perfectly splendid,</em>" Flora says.</p><p>"Well, actually, it's pretend, remember?" Dani reminds her.</p><p>Flora considers this a moment. "It doesn't seem pretend to me, you both are in love. Miles agrees."</p><p>Dani nearly chokes on her tea. She looks at the pair of them. Jamie thinks she is about to die. </p><p>
  <em>Am I really that obvious?</em>
</p><p>Flora looks very pleased with herself, and Miles is beet red. They eventually leave out of the room to 'give them some alone time.' Jamie meets Dani's eyes and can tell she is flustered. "What was that all about?" Jamie asks.</p><p>***</p><p>Dani wouldn't dare tell her. The conversation from a few days ago went more or less smoothly, although Flora seemed ecstatic at the idea that Dani and Jamie were a couple, no matter how many times Dani explained to her that they were just playing pretend. She didn't seem to grasp the reasons behind it, that Dani's mother would push an unwanted relationship on her, so Flora's only explanation was that Dani and Jamie were actually <em>in love.</em> She told Dani how she knew the whole time, that she could tell. Maybe Dani wasn't as subtle as she thought. "Oh, Flora didn't really understand that it was pretend. She seems to think we're <em>actually </em>in a relationship," Dani says.</p><p><em>That wouldn't be the worst thing in the world</em>, Dani thinks.</p><p>Jamie chuckles. "At least she won't spill the beans to your mum or ex fiancé, right?"</p><p>"Yeah, there's at least that."</p><p>Their conversation is interrupted by a knock at the door. Dani's heart sinks deep into her chest. It seems as if her mother and Eddie are a bit ahead of schedule. "I'll get that," Dani says. "Will you come with me?"</p><p>"Of course, Poppins," Jamie says.</p><p>They make their way to the front doors. Dani takes a deep breath, psyching herself up. "Hey, it'll be okay," Jamie reassures her. </p><p>That gives her enough courage to rip off the bandaid, and open the door. Instantly, she wishes she hadn't. Her mother stood there with her ex fiancé, big smiles plastered on both of their faces. "Danielle, how are you?" Karen says, as she pulls Dani into a hug.</p><p>"Hi, mom. I'm doing really good," Dani says, putting emphasis on the <em>really.</em></p><p>
  <em>I'm doing so much better now that I've been away from you both.</em>
</p><p>After a painful few seconds, Karen pulls away from the hug. Eddie goes towards Dani, but she quickly ushers the two of them inside before he can come near her. "It's good to see you," he mumbles in her direction, already distraught at the lack of contact between them.</p><p>"So, this is where I work," Dani says, gesturing to the area around them.</p><p>"It's absolutely gorgeous. You'll have to show me around and introduce me to everybody," Karen says.</p><p>"I can give you the tour tomorrow after you're both settled in. As far as people, there's Owen, the cook, but he already left for the night. There's Hannah, the groundskeeper, and Miles and Flora, the two children I look after." Dani takes a deep breath, knowing that this is the moment of truth. "And this is Jamie."</p><p>"Well, Jamie, what do you do?" Karen asks.</p><p>"Ah, I'm jus' the gardener," she says.</p><p>Dani prepares herself. She how badly this could go, how poorly each of them could react. Karen could throw a screaming fit or drink herself into a coma, and Eddie could throw a pity party or sulk the rest of the trip. "Actually, Jamie's my girlfriend," Dani says, grabbing Jamie's hand.</p><p>"Oh, you guys are good friends?" Karen asks.</p><p>Dani is inclined to ask her if she is being ignorant on purpose, but she decides it's best not to. Dani looks over at Jamie, who is looking at their adjoined hands. She glances back up and smiles at her. "Actually, mom, we're dating," Dani says.</p><p>She holds her breath as she waits for the response. Karen's face contorts from pleasant, to aghast, to angry, and then she rests on indifferent. Dani knows it is all a facade. She expects she will be berated when she and her mother are alone, but for now all she can do is enjoy the quiet. She looks over at Eddie, who seems to look on the verge of vomiting. "You're- dating? <em>Her?" </em>Karen finally asks.</p><p>Dani's grip on Jamie's hand tightens. "Yes. I am."</p><p>"A <em>girl?" </em></p><p>"Yes," Dani says firmly.</p><p>"Oh. That's nice," Karen says, as she plasters on a fake smile aimed at the two of them.</p><p>Dani's face immediately feels hot. She quickly pulls her hand away from Jamie, although she hadn't realized she was still holding it. She can sense Jamie shifting beside her. "Right, can I help ya with your bags?" Jamie asks.</p><p>Karen doesn't acknowledge Jamie, she simply pushes her two duffel bags in Jamie's direction. If this is the treatment they will receive during this visit, then Dani thinks it would almost be better if Karen had just started shouting at them. She didn't know if she could take several weeks of her mother completely ignoring Jamie. Dani and Jamie lead them to each of their rooms, both downstairs near where Hannah sleeps. "We'll let you guys get settled in," Dani says, as she leads Jamie to the kitchen.</p><p>***</p><p>Hannah is in there, sitting at the table. "How'd it go?" she asks.</p><p>"Oh, you know them, just a barrel of laughs," Jamie says, as she and Dani take seats opposite Hannah.</p><p>"Ah, I can imagine. How'd they take it when you told them about your relationship?" </p><p>"My mom seemed pretty unhappy, she basically ignored Jamie after I told her. Eddie seemed..." Dani trails off, looking for the right words.</p><p>"He looked like he was about to be sick," Jamie says.</p><p>Dani chuckles at this. "Yeah, I think he was starting to get a bit green."</p><p>"Hey, it's not all bad, right, Poppins? Fifteen minutes down, few more weeks to go," Jamie says.</p><p>Her joke didn't have the intended effect. Dani begins fidgeting where she sits. "Hey," Jamie says. "It'll be okay. It won't all be bad. This was to be expected, we knew they wouldn't be okay with everything all at once."</p><p>Dani smiles at her, and Jamie is glad she was able to give Dani some peace of mind. Jamie was willing to help Dani in any way she possibly could, as evident by their current situation. She thought she would do anything just to see her smile, to be the reason that Dani smiles. <em>Anything,</em> she tells herself, as images flash through her head. She sees all the screaming, shouting, and loss she felt those years ago. <em>Don't think about that right now, be here for Dani. You're doing this for Dani.</em></p><p>It was really not her intention to have those horrid memories come up in her head, but there they were, clear as daylight. She remembered each detail as if it just happened. The wound was fresh, yet being over ten years old. She figured it was never the kind of thing a person would get over easily. Jamie silently curses herself for not thinking about how Karen's reactions to Dani would cause her own to resurface. She needs to be there for Dani, and she couldn't do that if she was busy dwelling on the past. No, that was over and done. It was time to be in the present. </p><p>As she returned back to reality, Karen and Eddie were walking into the kitchen, Eddie trailing behind her like a lost puppy. <em>Twat,</em> Jamie thinks. Hannah stands up to greet them. "You must be Mrs. Clayton and Mr. O'Mara. The pleasure is all mine. I'm Hannah Grose, the live in housekeeper," she says.</p><p>"Well, I see they hire all <em>sorts</em> of help around here," Karen says with a terse smile.</p><p>It is clear everyone in the room is uncomfortable with her choice of words, but no one says anything. Dani leans over to Hannah and whispers, "I think she's still just upset about earlier."</p><p>Hannah gives her an empathetic smile. Karen now takes the seat opposite Dani, and Eddie sits himself at the head of the table, on either side of Karen and Dani. Dani unconsciously shifts closer to Jamie. "Could I get either of you anything to drink? Would you like some tea?" Hannah asks. </p><p>"Actually, Edmund and I are both quite hungry. It was a long flight. I was told there would be a cook," Karen says.</p><p>Dani takes a deep breath and sighs. "Mom, Owen left at eight. I can heat you up some leftovers, if you'd like."</p><p>Karen seems offended at the offer of leftovers, as if she was expecting poor Owen to stay late just for <em>her.</em> "I guess that'll be fine," she says with a huff. </p><p>
  <em>Twats. Both of em.</em>
</p><p>As Dani gets up to the fridge so she can tend to the house guests, Karen's attention latches on to Jamie. "So, <em>Jamie," </em>she says with a sneer. "If the cook isn't important enough to live here, then why are <em>you</em> still here?"</p><p>There's a bite to her words, one too familiar for Jamie's liking. She brushes it aside, not keen on having it cast a shadow over the rest of her evening. Jamie is glad she and Dani had planned a timeline for this. "I've been living here around five months, now. Wanted more time with Dani," she says, knowing it would grate at Karen. </p><p>Karen narrows her eyes slightly, just enough for only Jamie to notice the shift in demeanor. "How long have you and my daughter been... whatever it is you call it."</p><p>"Oh, we've been together eleven months now. Started a month after she arrived here, a year ago already. Best year of my life," Jamie says with a smirk.</p><p>She really didn't have to lie to Karen, it <em>was</em> the best year of her life. But Dani didn't need to know that. No, just like Dani has told Flora, Jamie also has to tell herself: <em>We are just playing pretend.</em> She makes the mistake of glancing over at Dani, and sees her staring at her. When their eyes meet, Dani swiftly focuses her attention back on the two plates of food she is preparing. Jamie brushes it off as stress from being around her mother. There was simply no other explanation. </p><p>Dani sets the plates in front of Eddie and Karen. They each thank her, Eddie's gaze lingering as he does so. Jamie thinks that is why, when Dani sits back down, she takes Jamie's hand in her own. For the entire table to see. Jamie feels her face become red, and she looks down at her feet. Dani's hand fits nicely in her own. <em>Too nice. </em>But she promised her this. She promised Dani that showing each other affection was okay. That was really the issue, that it was <em>okay. </em>That it would be okay, even if they didn't have houseguests to fool. Jamie is brought back to the situation around her when Karen loudly clears her throat. <em>Of course.</em></p><p>"Do you really have to do that at the <em>dinner table,</em> Danielle?" Karen asks.</p><p>Dani's grasp on Jamie's hand tightens. "What do you mean?" Dani asks through clenched teeth.</p><p>"That," Karen says, gesturing at their linked hands. "You're practically all over each other. Its..."</p><p>"What? What is it, mom?" Dani dares her to finish that sentence.</p><p>"Well, it's disgusting, really. We shouldn't have to see that. Nobody <em>wants</em> to see that," Karen says, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.</p><p>Jamie tried to suppress the memories of her own past coming back to bite her, but with that word: disgusting, it all comes crashing back. Jamie pulls her hand back from Dani like she'd been burned, despite the iron grip Dani has on her hand. Dani tries to pull Jamie back, but the shame Jamie suddenly feels is too strong. She now starts to teeter on the edge of the conversation, willing herself to be invisible. <em>Be strong. Be strong for Dani</em>, she tells herself.</p><p>Slowly, as she shifts back to the conversation at hand, and as she has become calmer, she reaches back out for Dani's hand. "So, Danielle, how are you liking this place?" Karen asks.</p><p>"Oh, I love it, the people here are great," she says.</p><p>"Ah. I take it you'll be coming back home soon, though, right?"</p><p>Dani's smile falters. "Mom, you know I'm happy here. I've told you this many times. Let's just leave it at that, okay?"</p><p>"Fine. You know, Danielle, Edmund has just received a promotion at work. Tell her about it, Edmund."</p><p>Eddie smiles warmly at Dani. <em>Why does he get to look at her like that? </em>Jamie thinks.</p><p>"Oh, yes, it's quite a bit more money. I'm a financial manager now," he says proudly.</p><p>
  <em>As if there could be a more boring job to have.</em>
</p><p>"Oh, that's great, Eddie," Dani says.</p><p>"You know, Danielle, I bet Edmund makes heaps more money than some <em>gardener," </em>she says, shooting daggers at Jamie.</p><p>Jamie's face turns red, and she looks down at her feet again, suddenly interested in her shoelaces. She knows she doesn't make much money, but she likes what she does. She likes the people she's surrounded by. Jamie feels Dani grow rigid beside her. "Mom, Jamie is really good at what she does. And I know she loves it. And I get to be close to her every single day. To me, that's more important that making a bit more cash."</p><p>Jamie appreciates Dani standing up for her. It feels nice to have someone care about her like that, even if it's all for show. Karen and Eddie seem to be speechless. Jamie assume's they've never heard Dani shut them down like that, judging on her jumpy nature when she first started working at the manor. They are left in an excruciating silence, before Hannah speaks up. "It's getting a bit late, I think I'll head to bed. Goodnight," she says, and with that, she leaves.</p><p>Jamie takes this as her opportunity to leave. She mutters out a quick goodnight and makes her retreat alongside Hannah. When she's finally in the safety of Dani's room, she lets out a long held sigh. She can't let her emotions get the best of her like that again. <em>You need to be there for Dani</em>, she reminds herself. She quickly changes in to her pajamas: a worn out t shirt and a pair of shorts. She sits on the edge of the bed, and begins to zone out. The kitchen had given her her own healthy dosage of anxiety, and she needs to unwind a bit before she can even think about settling down. She only regains focus once she hears the door click shut and sees Dani standing there. "Hey."</p><p>Jamie simply gives her a nod of acknowledgement, not in the mood to talk to anybody. Dani gazed at her and bit her lower lip. "Jamie, I'm really sorry about what happened there. I talked to my mom about it, it shouldn't happen again."</p><p>"'S fine."</p><p>Dani walks over to her and sits next to her on the bed. "Jamie, what's wrong?"</p><p>"I told you, I was fine!"</p><p>Jamie really didn't mean for her words to sound so harsh, but they did anyway. She hates the look on Dani's face, and the fact that she's the one who put it there. "I'm sorry, but there's nothing to talk about," Jamie says.</p><p>It was fine, she would build her walls back up, and it would be fine. It was the only way she could get through this unscathed. Unfortunately for her, Dani can be relentless. "Jamie, I know that's not true. Please talk to me. We don't have to do this anymore if you don't want to."</p><p>Jamie feels Dani chipping away at her, piece by piece. It would be futile for her to resist. "Dani, it's not that. I'd just really rather not talk about it."</p><p>"That's okay. But if you <em>ever </em>need anything, even just someone to listen to, please, I'm all ears."</p><p>"Thanks, Poppins."</p><p>***</p><p>Dani feels bad that her mother affected Jamie in this way, but she can't fathom why. She knows there's something she's not telling her, but she doesn't want to push Jamie. After their brief conversation, they each settled into bed. Dani noticed that Jamie was situated as close to the edge of the mattress that she could be. Dani thinks she would be pushing it to ask Jamie to scoot closer to her, so she doesn't.</p><p>It's about two in the morning when Dani wakes up. She hears <em>something</em>  from beside her, but in her dazed state, she can't quite place what it is. As she gains more of a bearing of her surroundings, she pinpoints the source of the sound. Jamie is laying to the side of her, clearly asleep, but she's fidgeting- and crying. Dani's heart breaks for her, for whatever nightmare she is going through. She's mumbling something, too, but she isn't able to make out what she's saying. She catches a few words, though. <em>Mum. Please. No. </em></p><p>Dani can't see Jamie in this state any longer, so she gently reaches over and nudges her awake. Jamie lets out a yelp and pulls away from Dani. She's shaking now, eye's darting around the room, as if she doesn't know where she is. "What happened?" Jamie asks frantically.</p><p>"I think you were having a nightmare. Are you okay?"</p><p>Jamie doesn't respond, she's still trembling, and she hasn't moved from where she was laying down. She's muttering something about her mother, about how she doesn't want to go anywhere. "Hey, I'm here with you. You're safe. You're here."</p><p>Dani tries to comfort Jamie the best she knows how. She keeps reminding her that she is here, that she is okay, that whatever happened in the dream is gone. It appears as if it's working, and she's finally able to make eye contact with Dani. </p><p>Jamie seems to be calming down her breathing, but a few stray tears are still running down her face, and she hasn't stopped shaking. "I'm sorry. For waking you."</p><p>"Jamie, don't apologize for that. I just want to help."</p><p>Jamie looks distressed, and Dani is not about to let her deal with this alone. Not after the countless times Jamie has been there for her through her panic attacks. Jamie seems to have other plans, however, and turn to get up out of bed. "I'm gonna go sleep out there, I don't want to disturb you," Jamie says as an explanation. </p><p>Dani can't allow that to happen. She grabs Jamie's arm. "Stay. <em>Please." </em></p><p>Jamie's expression softens, she's tempted, but she doesn't want to be bothersome. "I don't want to disturb you any more than I already have," she says, as she tries yet again to move, but Dani's grip remains strong.</p><p>"Jamie, nothing you do could ever bother me. I want to help you like you always help me," Dani says, with pleading eyes.</p><p>Jamie has never felt so cared for in her life, and that is what breaks her. She turns away from Dani, but not quick enough for Dani to miss her face crumpling. She uses her free hand to wipe away the new tears that begin flowing, but Dani has already seen it. She climbs across the bed to sit beside her and wraps an arm around her. This time, Jamie doesn't hesitate to lean into her, clinging on for dear life. She is breathing rapidly, sobs beginning to wrack her body. Dani pulls her closer and soothes her. "I'm... I'm sorry," Jamie says in between heaving breaths.</p><p>"Don't apologize. I'll always be here," Dani says.</p><p>Jamie nods into her shoulder, not trusting herself to string together many words. They sit on the edge of the bed like that for a long time. Eventually, when Jamie's breathing evens out, Dani coaxes them into laying back down, her arms still holding on tightly to Jamie. "Is this okay?" Dani asks.</p><p>"Yes," Jamie says.</p><p>She won't admit it, not for a long time, but she likes being comforted by Dani. She likes feeling safe in her arms. And Dani likes keeping her safe. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know what you think of this one. I think the next chapter is when we will actually learn about Jamie's past (I changed it up a bit)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. the most natural thing in the world</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So in this one I make Eddie and Karen really shitty. Eddie especially, he absolutely sucks. I initially wanted to make this one more about learning Jamie's backstory, but I think that will wait until the next chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The morning rays beat down onto Jamie's face as she is lulled awake by the sun. She feels warm, more so than normal, and settles deeper into the blankets and the-</p><p>The arms wrapped around her. Of course. She had forgotten, in her groggy state, what had happened the night before. How she absolutely <em>lost it,</em> and let Dani comfort her like that. If she were being honest, it was the best sleep she's had in ages. She could even say it was the best sleep she's had in her entire life. There was something about waking up next to Dani, the sheer closeness of her, that made her heart swell up out of her chest. </p><p>As she opened her eyes, she looked at the sleeping form next to her. Dani looked so peaceful, without the stress or worry on her face that had plagued her the past week. Jamie was inclined to reach over to her face and tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear, but she wouldn't dare disturb her. She basks in the warmth that spreads throughout her body until the weight of what is happening hits her.</p><p>She's in bed. Cuddling. With Dani Clayton. </p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>This wasn't good. It wasn't good that she was enjoying it <em>this much. </em>She couldn't just lay there all morning, that would be <em>so fucking weird.</em> So, with a bit too much reluctance, Jamie gently pries herself away from Dani. A cold shiver runs through her at the lost contact. She takes a moment to pull herself together. She goes into the bathroom to shower and change into her work clothes. It's nothing too extravagant, just a t-shirt with a pair of overalls, as well as her boots. As she comes back out of the bathroom, she sees that Dani still hasn't stirred. Her gaze lingers for a bit too long, but all she's thinking about is how <em>cute </em>Dani looks while she sleeps.</p><p><em>Could I get any creepier? I shouldn't be thinking about her like that, especially not now, </em>Jamie tells herself.</p><p>She turns away from Dani and makes her way to the kitchen for her morning cup of tea. Normally, she is the only one awake at this hour. She naturally gets up with the sun. She likes having the few hours of peace and quiet before she has to interact with others, but this morning, it seems as if she won't get that. As she walks into the kitchen, she sees someone sitting there. <em>Eddie.</em> He looks up at her, and twists his face into a scowl. "What are you doing up so early?" he asks.</p><p>The sound of his voice alone is like nails on a chalkboard, and it takes heaps of self control for Jamie to not recoil. "Could ask you the same question."</p><p>"I was hoping I would get to talk to Danielle before anyone else got up," he says.</p><p>Of course he'd want to talk to <em>Danielle</em>. "She's still asleep. She usually get up around seven or so to get the kids ready for breakfast," Jamie says.</p><p>Eddie looks like he's contemplating something, and eventually speaks. "She doesn't love you, you know."</p><p><em>Oh, I know, </em>Jamie thinks.</p><p>"What makes you say that?" Jamie asks, trying to keep her anger at bay.</p><p>"When we were together, I provided everything. I was so good to her. I know she didn't mean it when she ended things. Trust me, by the end of the trip, she'll leave you <em>and </em>this place and come back home to me," Eddie says.</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, right.</em>
</p><p>"You know, she seems to me a lot happier now than she was when she first arrived. Maybe you didn't see it, but you drained her. I don't know what to tell you, but she's happy here," Jamie says. She's surprised she is able to keep her cool, with the way Eddie is intentionally getting under her skin. </p><p>Eddie laughs at this. He <em>laughs. </em>"I know Danielle better than you ever will. She still loves me, I know it. I can tell. I can also tell that she doesn't love you. Face it, she never will."</p><p>
  <em>I know she never will. </em>
</p><p>Eddie's last words have that familiar bite to them, but at the moment Jamie is playing the role of loving girlfriend, so she decides to laugh it off. Make it seem as if he is being <em>ridiculous</em> to think that Dani wouldn't love her. "Right, sure, whatever helps you sleep at night. Anyway, I'm off to the greenhouse, got a busy morning ahead of me."</p><p>And with that, she turns on her heel and briskly leaves. Her tea can wait. She just wants to get as far away from the house as she can. She decides it's best to skip breakfast so she doesn't accidentally strangle Eddie.</p><p>***</p><p>Dani hears the shrill ring of her alarm and groans at the sound. She feels more tired than normal, and realizes it must be because of what happened the night before. She had been up an extra hour and a half. She wouldn't change it for the world, though. She was more than happy to help Jamie. She now remembers that she had fallen asleep with her arms around Jamie, but she must have gotten up already. <em>I hope I didn't overstep anything, </em>she thinks.</p><p>She gets up out of her bed and walks towards the window to see the last few minutes of the sunrise. As she looks out onto the grounds, she can see Jamie rapidly walking towards the greenhouse, in a near jog. She can' help but think that <em>she </em>has something to do with Jamie's hurry to leave. If she wasn't sure before, she is almost certain that she overstepped something last night. </p><p>
  <em>She probably thinks I'm coming on to her, god, I'm such an idiot.</em>
</p><p>She decides that the next chance she gets with Jamie alone, she will apologize. She is ready to grovel, if she has to, in order for Jamie to understand just how sorry she is. The last thing she wanted was to make Jamie feel unsafe around her. She gets dressed and walks into the kitchen, where she sees Eddie sitting at the table. <em>Oh.</em> Maybe he had something to do with Jamie being so eager to get away.</p><p>Eddie's face lights up when he sees her and Dani's stomach churns. She gets that familiar nauseated feeling that she got whenever she and Eddie were alone together. Before, she chalked it up to butterflies, but now she realizes she was just uncomfortable. "Danielle, I was hoping I'd get to talk to you. Y'know, without your... without Jamie," he says.</p><p><em>Oh god, here we go, </em>Dani thinks.</p><p>Dani noticed that he refused to call Jamie her girlfriend. <em>Typical. </em>Of course he's still in denial. "What is it, Eddie?" she sighs.</p><p>Eddie takes a deep breath, like he's preparing himself. "Danielle, please give me another chance. I know you still love me. I'd take you back, I really would. Think of how happy we could be."</p><p>Dani expected he would try something like that, but she didn't expect that he'd try it so soon. He hadn't even been there a full twenty four hours and he was already trying to get Dani to take him back. "Eddie, I don't love you. I don't think I ever did, at least not like that. You have to accept the fact that I'm gay, and that I'm with Jamie. I <em>love </em>Jamie."</p><p>That was the first time she'd said she loves Jamie out loud. Sure, they had established that as far as their 'relationship' goes, they were in love, but she had never actually said it outright. It wasn't like any of it was real, though. She knew that Jamie was straight, and that Jamie would never love Dani in the same way that Dani loves her. </p><p>"It isn't natural, Danielle," Eddie says.</p><p>His words grate at Dani, but they weren't unexpected. One of his tactics before she had moved away had been to guilt trip her, but it didn't work then, and it wasn't going to work now. "It feels like the most natural thing in the world to me. More natural than anything I ever felt with you, Eddie. Nothing you say will convince me not to love Jamie, that loving her isn't natural," she says.</p><p>There it is again, Dani loves Jamie. It felt freeing to say it, even if it were all for show. Dani saw that Eddie's ears were becoming red, a tell-tale sign that he was becoming furious. "Look, I know you'll come around sooner or later. You love <em>me, </em>not that <em>English</em> bitch," he says.</p><p>"What did you just call her?" Dani asks, rage seeping into the tone of her voice.</p><p>"I called her a bitch," he says, raising his voice.</p><p>Her voice comes out louder than normal. "Eddie, you don't get to walk in on my job, walk back into my life, and insult my girlfriend to my face. I'm sorry, but that's not how this works. If you're going to behave like this the entire time you're here, then maybe you should just leave," she says. </p><p>Eddie just looks at her, disgusted, and storms off. With luck, she won't see him the rest of the day, but Dani has never considered herself to be a very lucky person. Dani stands there in shock, unsure of what to do. She is furious that Eddie would say those things about Jamie. She is furious that he is so <em>entitled</em> to her. So <em>possessive </em>of her. That's not love, that's the opposite of love. "I assume that would be the ex boyfriend."</p><p>Dani turns to see Owen standing in the door frame. "How much of that did you hear?" she asks.</p><p>"Almost all of it," he says.</p><p>Dani feels her face grow hot. She didn't want to drag her friends into her conflicts. "Sorry you had to hear that," she says.</p><p>"Don't be, it's okay. It was nice of you to stick up for Jamie like that," he says.</p><p>Dani smiles. "Yeah, I'd do anything for her, or- I mean-"</p><p>
  <em>Why did she say that?</em>
</p><p>Owen just smiles at her. "It's okay, I know. I've known for quite some time now."</p><p>Dani feels herself become flustered. "Oh god, am I really that obvious?"</p><p>"You both are."</p><p>Before Dani can dwell on the implications behind that, she hears Flora calling after her. "Miss Clayton! Miss Clayton! Did your mum arrive last night? Is she here?"</p><p>Dani smiles down at her. "Yeah, she arrived last night. She's still in bed, though. I don't know when she'll be up. Why don't we go get you and your brother ready, and then you can both meet her?"</p><p>Flora seems content with this, so she and Dani go upstairs to wake Miles up. She waits outside their bedroom doors as they each get dressed, not wanting to go down to face her guests just yet. She tries to prolong the process of them getting ready as much as possible, and takes extra time carefully inspecting their hands, clothes, and teeth. When the trio finally enter the kitchen, Owen already has breakfast made. Hannah is setting the table, and Karen is sitting at the table already, not bothering to help. They all take their regular seats, except Jamie is nowhere to be found. It wasn't unusual for Jamie to be a bit late to meals, but this morning Dani desperately wishes she had been on time. Eddie makes a point of sitting in the seat next to her, and all she wants to do is shrink in on herself.</p><p>Owen comes over to the table carrying bacon, eggs, and toast. They begin eating in an awkward silence, Dani not daring to make eye contact with either visitors.</p><p>"It tastes wonderful," Eddie says.</p><p>"Thank you, I did a pretty <em>egg</em>cellent job, if I do say so myself," Owen says.</p><p>That makes Karen, Eddie, and the children laugh, while Hannah and Dani roll their eyes at the pun. As Eddie laughs, his arm grazes Dani's and she jerks away like she's been burned. Not being able to stand the thought of sitting next to him any longer, she gets up and says, "I'm going to take a plate to Jamie. I don't want her going hungry."</p><p>***</p><p>Jamie is seething. Seething at Eddie, but also seething at the fact that he's <em>right.</em> Dani will never love her. In an attempt to quell her rage, Jamie buries herself in her plants. Gardening has always helped her stay in control, even through the most difficult times of her life. Plants make sense to her, much more than people. Their presence always puts her at ease. This morning is no exception. She doesn't know how much time has passed, but after a while she notices that she has become quite hungry. She checks her watch and silently curses to herself. She's almost missed breakfast. She throws off her gardening gloves and is almost out the door before she collides head on into Dani.</p><p>It takes a moment before either of them speak up. They had never been this close to one another in the broad daylight, and Jamie is able to make out the fine details of her. "Sorry. I was just about to get some breakfast," Jamie says.</p><p>Dani just stares at her until she finally snaps out of it. "Oh, right. I wanted to escape everyone for a bit, so I brought you a plate," she says, as she hands her the plate of food and holds out a mug. Jamie looks at her a bit hesitantly. "Don't worry, Owen made the tea."</p><p>Jamie chuckles at her and accepts the mug. "Good, thought you were trying to get rid of me once and for all."</p><p>"You don't have to worry about that," she says.</p><p>"You can sit down if you want, I was just finishing up in here," Jamie says.</p><p>They each sit beside each other on a small bench as Jamie begins eating her breakfast. It is Dani who finally speaks up. "You seemed to be in a hurry to get out this morning, is everything okay?"</p><p>Jamie's conversation with Eddie comes back to her and she lets out a strained laugh. "Yeah, had a lovely conversation with Edmund, that's all."</p><p>Dani's face shifts from concern to understanding. "You too, huh?"</p><p>Jamie stops eating. "What did he say to you?"</p><p>Dani lets out an exasperated sigh. "Oh, the usual. He's convinced I'm still in love with him, wants me to take him back. I told him I didn't love him, and that I was happy with you. He said a few choice words about you. That made me pretty mad, and I kinda told him off a bit, but he eventually stormed off."</p><p>"He told me pretty much the same. He said you still loved him, that you'd never love me, and that he was sure you'd be leaving with them at the end of their trip."</p><p>Dani scoffs. "Like that'd ever happen. Was he an ass to you? I swear I'll kill him..."</p><p>Jamie is sure she's never felt so appreciated. Dani was always so caring, she always but others before her, even when it was a detriment to her. "Poppins, it's fine. I just laughed it off. Thank you for sticking up for me, though. I appreciate it."</p><p>Dani smiles at her. "It's really no problem, I'd do it again in a heartbeat."</p><p>After that, their conversation shifts to lighter topics. They talk about their respective plans for the day. Jamie didn't have much of a workload, she did the brunt of it all yesterday and that morning so she could be present while Dani has to deal with her guests. Dani didn't have to teach the kids' lesson today, as it was Saturday. Jamie suggests they could do something with the kids away from the house if Dani was still looking to escape for a bit. They decide they will spend the day by the lake. Dani knows the children always love it when they have picnics, so she is looking forward to their excitement. </p><p>"You about ready to head back?" Jamie asks.</p><p>"Yeah, are you coming with?"</p><p>"Yeah, figured I'd help you with your mum and ex while you get the gremlins ready."</p><p>"You don't have to do that," she says.</p><p>"I want to. Let's go." Jamie says, as she gets up. Dani is close behind her.</p><p>As they walk in the front doors of the manor, Jamie gets an idea. Jamie reaches over and grabs Dani's hand. "Do you wanna give 'em a show?" she asks.</p><p>Dani seems to be all too focused on their hands, but she eventually looks up. "Sure, why not," she says with a grin.</p><p>As they walk into the kitchen, Jamie waits until Karen and Eddie are looking at them before she plants a kiss on Dani's cheek. Karen makes a noise of disgust, and Eddie looks like he's ready to punch a wall, but Jamie takes it in stride. After all, she just kissed Dani Clayton. Well, it wasn't a real kiss, but it was exhilarating all the same. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to just lean into to her like that, but she knew she couldn't get too used to it. After Karen and Eddie are gone, she will not longer be able to show Dani affection like that. </p><p>Dani shifts her attention towards the children. "Miles, Flora, Jamie and I were thinking we'd go down to the lake today, does that sound like fun?"</p><p>The children nod enthusiastically. Dani was right about the children being excited. "Danielle, a day out sounds wonderful, Edmund and I will join you," Karen says, with a sly grin on her face.</p><p>
  <em>No. That wasn't supposed to happen.</em>
</p><p>"Oh, that's okay, we'll mostly just be watching the kids," Dani says.</p><p>"That's fine. I'll take any time I can get with my daughter."</p><p>Jamie looks to Hannah and Owen, pleading for help. "Do you guys wanna join us?" she asks.</p><p>They each look at each other before politely denying Jamie's request. She can't really blame them, after all, Karen and Eddie were quite insufferable. "Right," she finally says, looking over at Dani. "Looks like it'll just be the six of us."</p><p>***</p><p>"Danielle, this really is a beautiful property," Karen says, as she eagerly looks around.</p><p>Dani smiles over at Jamie. "I know, Jamie really does a good job."</p><p>Karen looks at Dani, then at Jamie, and then back at Dani. "I suppose so. Edmund, how do you like it here?"</p><p>Of course Karen would take every opportunity she could to bring the attention to Edmund. It seems as if she was still holding on to some hope about his and Dani's relationship. Jamie would have to step it up a notch. Jamie briefly looks over at Dani and reaches out her hand as an offering. Dani smiles back at her and accepts it graciously. They walk hand in hand until they reach the lake. Flora runs up to Dani. "Miss Clayton, can we go play now?"</p><p>Dani slightly bends down to meet her at eye level. "Of course, just make sure we can see you two, okay?"</p><p>Flora is practically bouncing with excitement. "Okay!" she says as she and Miles run off.</p><p>Jamie goes to take some of the blankets Dani brought for them to sit on. "Let me help you there, Poppins," she says.</p><p>Dani and Jamie spread the blankets out while Karen and Eddie watch. Of course they'd not bother to help. At this point, it wasn't much of a surprise. Dani and Jamie take the blanket facing where the children were running around, and Karen and Eddie sit on the one opposite them. Dani had purposefully dragged Jamie down to sit with her, so Eddie wouldn't try to get closer to her. It was also why they purposefully placed several feet between the blankets. As they get settled, Dani leans slightly into Jamie's side. Eddie looks uncomfortable, but neither Dani nor Jamie have it in them to care.</p><p>"Danielle, how was your morning? We didn't see much of you," Karen says.</p><p>Dani looks away quickly, not wanting to make eye contact. She was still uneasy around Eddie, she didn't want another onslaught of critiques about her supposed relationship. She didn't care if it wasn't deemed 'natural,' because it felt right to her. Well, it would if it were real. It would feel right being this close to Jamie, as much as she tried to suppress it. She knew it, and apparently others did too. She hoped it was only Owen who had noticed. She could deal with him, or even Hannah also knowing, but if word ever got out to Jamie, she knew she would lose her friendship forever. That was not something she was willing to risk. She'd rather stay friends and admire from afar than having Jamie completely cut out of her life. </p><p>"It was- it was okay. I mean, I got to spend some time with Jamie, which always makes for a nice morning," Dani stammers. She's trying not to let on to the fact that she was this affected by what Eddie had said. </p><p>Karen hums in acknowledgment. They quickly realize they hardly have anything to talk about when Karen is not prying and Eddie is not begging for forgiveness. They sit around and make awkward small talk into the early evening. Dani relaxes a bit more into Jamie's side as she watches Miles and Flora chasing after each other. At least some of them were enjoying themselves that day. She watches as they start to veer left towards the greenhouse and run inside. "Shite," Jamie mutters. "Better go make sure they don't destroy the place."</p><p>Jamie gets up and gives Dani an apologetic smile, before jogging over to the greenhouse, yelling after the children. Dani focuses her attention straight ahead towards where the lake is as she watches the calm, peaceful water. A stark contrast from how she had been since last night. Karen clears her throat and Dani looks over at her. "Danielle. Are you okay?" asks.</p><p>That was unexpected. Dani looks at her questioningly, as she waits for an explanation. "I just mean, now that we're away from her," she says, as she nods her head in the direction of the greenhouse. "She's not forcing you into anything, is she, Danielle? If she is, we can have you out of here in a heartbeat."</p><p>Dani looks at her with wide eyes. She scoffs. "No, mom. Jamie isn't forcing me into anything. Why would you even think that?"</p><p>Karen tries her best to put on a 'caring mom' face. "It's just, this is so unexpected, Danielle. You and Edmund were so happy together, I don't see what went wrong. I'm just trying to make sense of it."</p><p>It takes every ounce of willpower Dani has to not roll her eyes. "Mom, I ended things with Eddie long before I met Jamie, or even came to England."</p><p>Edmund takes this as his opportunity to speak. "I know you, I can see that this isn't you, Danielle. For god's sake, you can't just throw away <em>ten years</em> together for- for whatever <em>that is."</em></p><p>Dani's face drops. "We've already talked about this, I'm happy with Jamie. I don't expect either of you to jump with joy for me, but the least you could do is respect the fact that I'm finally happy."</p><p>Karen heaves a big, dramatic sigh. "Danielle, honey, I just want what's best for you. You threw away such a good life with Eddie. I know he'd take you back in a heartbeat, and you could both pick up right where you left off. Come with us. Come back home with us, please."</p><p>At this point, Dani's mouth is agape. The audacity they both have, to sit there and try and tell her what's best for her, as if she can't read herself, is appalling. "I expect this to be the last time I tell you this: I'm not going anywhere. This is my home. Nothing you do can drag me away from this place."</p><p>Now, Karen begins laughing. "Honestly, Danielle, I thought you were smarter than this. You threw away a perfect life, with a perfect man, just to shack up with some d-"</p><p>"That's enough!" Dani shrieks. </p><p>Karen and Eddie look up to her, where she is now standing. She hurriedly picks up her blanket and walks over to the greenhouse, where Jamie, Miles, and Flora are now laughing amongst themselves. </p><p>Jamie looks over at her. "Hey, Poppins, we were just-" she stops, and takes in the pained look on Dani's face. "Are you alright?"</p><p>Dani's lip quivers as she says, "Can we please go back, now?"</p><p>Jamie is quick to nod her head, before turning to the children. "Can you both go ahead and go on up? We'll be right behind you," Jamie says.</p><p>Jamie waits until they are out of earshot before she turns to Dani. "What happened? Are you okay?" she asks.</p><p>Dani shakes her head. "You know how they get. It was just like this morning, only," she laughs. "They were able to gang up on me, without you there."</p><p>Jamie's face falls. "Dani, I'm sorry, if I had known, I wouldn't've-"</p><p>Dani shushes her. "It's not your fault. Can we just go back and avoid them the rest of the day?"</p><p>"Fine by me."</p><p>*** </p><p>Dani and Jamie enter through the side door of the manor, not caring that they left Karen and Eddie behind at the lake. Owen and Hannah are sat at the table, having a conversation. "Hope we aren't interrupting anything," Jamie says as she looks pointedly between them.</p><p>"No, we were just having a bit of a chat," Hannah says. "Did you decide against staying at the lake?"</p><p>"Something like that," Dani says.</p><p>"Were they being difficult again?" Owen asks.</p><p>"Yeah, as soon as Jamie left to make sure the kids weren't messing around in the greenhouse, they started grilling me on why I was here with Jamie and why I didn't want to get back with Eddie. They do that a lot, just this morning Eddie was telling me we'd be back together by the end of the trip. He even told Jamie the same thing," Dani says.</p><p>"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry," Hannah says. "We should've gone down with you, we would have if we'd known."</p><p>Dani shakes her head at them. "I don't want to put any more of you in that position. It's bad enough I've dragged Jamie into this."</p><p>Jamie brings up a hand and rubs her arm lightly. "You're not dragging me into anything, Poppins. I want to help."</p><p>Dani looks over at her. "You sure?"</p><p>Jamie smiles back. "'Course I am, I don't want them dragging you away from us, now, do I?"</p><p>"I don't think anything could drag me away. You guys are kinda stuck with me," Dani laughs.</p><p>Jamie hugs her from the side. "Good."</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lemme know what you think of this one.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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